Interview for Analysis - Blog 21

I broke this into sections to make it a little more readable)

(initial conversation)

[8:00:37 PM] H: Hi Alison!

[8:00:51 PM] A: Hello

[8:01:43 PM] A: I have changed the questions a little bit from the protocol. They're just a guideline anyways.

[8:01:56 PM] H: That's fine!

[8:02:07 PM] H: I figured they were just a guide anyway

[8:02:14 PM] A: Yeah.

[8:02:23 PM] A: Do you have any questions?

[8:02:44 PM] H: No.

[8:03:13 PM] A: Ok. I'm going to put the lead in here.

(warming up)

[8:03:45 PM] A: Lead: The focus of this project is to uncover the things which make conversations about Christianity awkward.

[8:04:29 PM] A: So! Can you tell me a little bit about your background? Just so we have an idea of where you're coming from and all.

[8:04:57 PM] H: Okay. Do you want a general background or just religious background?

[8:05:17 PM] A: I guess a brief general background would be great to start

[8:06:17 PM] H: Okay. My name is H, I'm a twenty-eight year old single, white female.

[8:07:30 PM] A: Ok. What is your family like?

[8:08:44 PM] H: I have a bit of a unique family dynamic: my immediate family consists of a single mother, three younger siblings (two females, one male) and my maternal grandparents.

[8:09:30 PM] A: Oh neat, so your grandparents lived with you (or vice versa)?

[8:10:00 PM] H: I lived with them the first few years of my life, and I currently live with them.

[8:10:30 PM] A: Oh cool. Yeah I lived with my Great Grandma on and off the last couple years, but not before college.

[8:11:02 PM] A: So were your grandparents, or anyone else in your family, in a church?

[8:12:37 PM] H: The rest of my family consider themselves Roman Catholic, but they usually only attend church on special occasions, holidays, things like that

[8:12:50 PM] A: Oh ok.

[8:13:19 PM] A: I think there's a term for that. "Creasters". Christmas/Easter church goers. haha.

[8:13:57 PM] H: Yes, that would be them. :)

[8:15:08 PM] A: So did you have other exposure to church and christians growing up? Friends, or sunday school?

[8:16:53 PM] H: Well, I was brought up Roman Catholic (now I identify as agnostic) so I attended what was called CCD on Tuesdays or Thursday nights. I know the majority of my peers in school also attended these, since we were often in the same classes.

[8:17:12 PM] A: Oh yeah I've heard of that

[8:18:51 PM] H: I believe it would equate to Sunday School. We learned doctrine and often had to go to confession.

[8:19:52 PM] A: Yeah I think it's similar. Both are meant for kids, and I think there's a lot of resources out there for teaching it.

[8:22:05 PM] A: So can you think of any like, memorable conversations or being "talked to" about religion as a kid? Or has that been more common as you've gotten older?

[8:23:37 PM] H: Yeah, it's definitely become more common as I've gotten older. Most of my experiences have been as a late teen/adult.

 (getting going)

[8:24:45 PM] A: Ok. Well that makes sense. So tell me a bit about those experiences. Who are they usually with?H

[8:28:08 PM] H: Sure. The experience that immediately pops into my head was when I was in my first year of undergrad. I was on campus and sitting in the lunch room with a friend and a guy who I had seen around my high school. We were sitting around the table talking about something unrelated when he began talking about his religion to the two of us. It was very jarring because it had nothing to do with what we were talking about at that time.

[8:29:50 PM] A: Yeah that'd be weird

[8:29:57 PM] H: I've also had some discussions about religion with a close friend of mine (she is Muslim) and she often shares some information about her religion with me when the conversation calls for it or I happen to ask.

[8:31:31 PM] A: Oh ok. Yeah those are two pretty different things

[8:32:44 PM] A: With the muslim girl does it seem more natural?

[8:33:58 PM] H: Definitely. Even during our first conversation about her religion, it was about answering questions and giving information for knowledge. I didn't get the impression she was trying to convert me.

[8:34:10 PM] A: yeah, that's really important.

[8:34:24 PM] A: it seems like when we sense there's a campaign involved, we immediately back away

[8:34:30 PM] H: Of course, we also had a relationship, so it definitely took away awkwardness

[8:34:41 PM] H: yeah

[8:34:58 PM] A: yeah that's true too

[8:35:20 PM] A: so do you think there's a level of relationship needed?

[8:35:59 PM] A: something at least more than 'stranger', but what about the levels between 'acquaintance' and 'friend'

[8:36:02 PM] H: I think that's a bit of it, yes

[8:37:00 PM] H: I think strong acquaintance would be a good starting point.

[8:37:45 PM] A: yeah. What effect does it have on you when someone like a stranger starts talking like that? what's your response?

[8:39:40 PM] H: Well, you don't want to be rude, so it depends on the context. If they come right up to me or knocked on my door, I have said "no thank you" or simply taken the literature and moved on. But for situations like what the guy did, where I'm sitting at the table eating and sort of a captive audience, I'll let them speak, but I tend to tune them out.

[8:40:42 PM] A: Yeah. I guess that the social pressure to be polite has a strong effect on what we can and can't do

[8:41:46 PM] H: It also depends on how they approach me. Most of the time it seems well-meaning even if it is forward. If they're making inflammatory comments though, I'm less likely to be polite

[8:41:58 PM] H: But most of my experience are with the former.

[8:42:17 PM] A: Yeah I see what you mean

[8:43:42 PM] A: so with these conversations, are there particular phrases you can remember?

[8:44:18 PM] H: Ah, yeah. The one that immediately comes to mind is "have you accepted Jesus Christ as your lord and savior?"

[8:44:30 PM] H: That's how the guy at the table started

[8:44:36 PM] A: oooooh wow

[8:44:41 PM] H: ahaha, yeah

[8:44:42 PM] A: lol, that's what I was about to ask

[8:44:43 PM] H: awkward

[8:45:08 PM] A: wow, so yeah that's really startling, and weird

[8:45:29 PM] A: what about it makes it weird, do you think?

[8:47:04 PM] A: did you even know what he meant?

[8:47:20 PM] H: Well, to start it makes some assumptions about you, I think. I remembered thinking "is there a specific reason why you would decide to start talking to me about this unprompted?" It also kind of cages you. No matter how you answer, you're being forced to enter the conversation with him

[8:48:13 PM] H: I didn't know what it meant to him. I figured he was part of a branch of Christianty that was very concerned with saving my soul. Perhaps that was presumptious on my part, but that's what I got from it.

[8:48:40 PM] A: right. Yeah it just seems like such a mouthful to use

[8:48:58 PM] H: So, by saving my soul, I mean accepting Jesus as the son of god and savior of mankind.

[8:50:28 PM] H: To kind of expand this experience even though it's sort of off the question, when he saw me on campus at future times he would sometimes try to give me things to read and try to make me promise to read them. They were usually about Jesus

[8:50:47 PM] A: oh man

[8:50:55 PM] A: that must have been weird to have him recognize you

[8:51:06 PM] A: I wonder why he kept going like that

[8:51:55 PM] H: It was less weird and more awkward. He was always kind in his approach, but he just would not let up. And again, I never gave him any information on me, so I couldn't figure out why he kept trying.

[8:52:10 PM] H: Unless I looked skeptical when he was talking, heh

[8:52:30 PM] A: haha yeah there must've been something he keyed in on

[8:52:43 PM] A: so if he was kind, what aspect specifically made it awkward?

[8:52:56 PM] A: just that he kept coming at it?

[8:53:36 PM] H: the persistance and the continual attempt to engage me when it should have been really clear (in a polite way) that I wasn't interested in talking with him about it

[8:54:01 PM] A: yeah

[8:54:17 PM] A: I can see what you mean.

[8:54:40 PM] A: so it wasn't so much in just how he said it, but the whole way he went about it

[8:54:53 PM] H: Yes, exactly

[8:55:16 PM] A: do you think that's true of other awkward religious situations you've been in?

[8:57:21 PM] H: Yes, I think so. Most of the conversations that I've had about religion that I've felt were awkward were all conversations that felt as though they were trying to convert me, and they were almost always conversations that had little or nothing to do with the setting or what was going on in the conversation prior to them offering the topic.

[8:58:36 PM] A: yeah that's a big deal I guess. If it comes up out of nowhere maybe it sends a message that they're talking about it because they have a point in mind, not because they care about you and what you're saying

[8:59:44 PM] H: The language being used also plays a big part, so yes.

[9:00:40 PM] A: Yeah, I am really curious about that part too, if there's certain words and phrases that make people feel awkward

[9:01:55 PM] A: (but we don't need to continue if you don't want. It's getting late, I have lots of material to go off of. But I don't want to cut you off either, if you have anything more you want to say about this. )

[9:02:46 PM] H: I'm fine either way, whenever you feel you have enough and don't want to ask anymore.

[9:03:40 PM] A: Ok. Well just if you have any thoughts on the phrasing thing. Words that you tune in on that let you know its going to be an awkward religious conversation

[9:04:00 PM] H: Sure.

[9:04:13 PM] A: I mean the jesus-as-your-lord-and-savior thing was partly phrasing, I think.

[9:04:18 PM] H: lol, yes

[9:06:03 PM] H: I'm having difficulty coming up with specific words, but I think when the tone and language gets preachy it gets problematic. When I'm being told about my soul, or that I should or need to do something (be it attend a church or read literature)

[9:06:48 PM] A: yeah

[9:07:24 PM] H: Whereas when I'm in a good conversationa bout religion, it's more passive and has ownership. Phrases like "I believe" or "In my religion/church" tend to be said

[9:07:57 PM] A: oh yeah. so there's not a presumption

[9:08:08 PM] H: So I suppose the focus on the subject shifts

[9:08:28 PM] A: right.

(winding down, less important stuff)

[9:09:32 PM] A: I think that's what's different about religious conversations nowadays as opposed to back in the day. maybe before the foundational truths were just out there, and it was just a matter of if you agreed or not

[9:10:16 PM] A: nowadays its not like everyone even believes God exists, or that everyone goes to church and hears the same stuff

[9:11:19 PM] H: Yeah. I aligns a bit with my experience. When I was very young I assumed most people were religious because it didn't seem to get discussed the same way it does now.

[9:12:02 PM] H: Although obviously that was completely untrue, it wasn't as apparent in my community

[9:12:35 PM] A: right

[9:13:15 PM] A: It does vary by location too. I was in Indiana a couple weeks ago, and out there at least most people identify themselves as Christian

[9:13:52 PM] H: Yeah, that makes sense

[9:14:43 PM] A: Well. I'm getting pretty sleepy, so I guess we can end it here. Of course there's so much interesting stuff we could talk about.

[9:15:00 PM] A: Do you have anything else you want to add, 'on the record'?

[9:15:22 PM] H: No, I think that covers the big points. I hope it helps!

[9:15:30 PM] A: Yes definitely!

[9:15:56 PM] A: If you think of anything else, or if any phrases/terms pop in your head later, you could write them down and get them to me later

[9:16:09 PM] H: Will do!

[9:16:29 PM] A: Thank you so much! Sorry that I was a bit slow at this. It's my first time.

[9:16:33 PM] H: Good night!

[9:16:43 PM] A: (I created an awkward conversation about awkward conversations!)

[9:16:44 PM] H: No problem, I understand! I was in no rush

[9:16:48 PM] H: noo, it was great

[9:17:04 PM] A: Alright. Thanks for your help.

[9:17:19 PM] H: You're welcome. Good luck with it! see you at the center

[9:17:27 PM] A: see you later. Good night.